Let's Declutter and Move On!


For a very long time, I have been feeling very bogged down.  Yet, I don't even know which aspect of my life makes me feel this way, since it can be just anything.  I feel so overwhelmed that I don't even know where to start looking for the sources of my feeling. I'm feeling overwhelmed by just the sight of everything around me, including my purse.  I need to get out of my state of paralysis, I must!  So I need to start doing something!

Since I don't really know where to start, I begin with the most obvious and frequent trigger of my mental paralysis: my wallet.  My wallet has been so bulky and stuffed that I have come to a point where  I can't even buckle the snap anymore.

I'm not the type to carry cash. It's mainly because I never was given cash to carry when I was a kid. No, my parents never gave me any allowance or pocket money. They never made me run shopping errands either. I never had a cent in my pocket when I was growing up.  Then when I started out to be on my own, I simply had no cash to carry because I was in debt. I'm still in debt as of now.  The sense of indebtedness makes me feel that I'm not entitled to carry cash.  Credit cards are all I carry..., since it just makes more sense for  someone like me who has literally been living on credit since I started college.

May be it's because of the debt that I have to pay back, I feel a lot of anxiety every time when I have to reach out for my wallet.  I can't explain the dreadful feeling that I experience every time when I hold it in my hand. Flipping it open accelerates such anxiety by ten folds, because it's always so stuffed.  Now that I am confronting my anxiety and taking a good look at my over-stuffed wallet, I see that there are just club cards that either expired or that entice me to shop too much stuff that I don't really need.  

So there I go, I got rid of  two club cards.  My wallet can now be snap-closed with ease. It makes me feel a tiny bit less anxious.  I know it's a baby step but instead of feeling bad for carrying a disorganized wallet, I need to start decluttering it and move on.

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